Rey's Dilemma
by Hellyjellybean
Summary: Rey is in love with Ben Solo but when Rey finds out that Ben has a twin brother he never speaks to, she makes it her mission to bring the two men back together, but will she succeed? Or will she pull them further apart? Shameless Reylo smut one shot, told in the form of a diary entry from Rey's POV. References the film Moonstruck. WARNING THIS IS EXPLICIT!


Dear Diary,

It's been a while... Well….where do I start. So much has happened! I really don't know where to begin! Well I guess, I'm in love. I'm in love with a boy who is so perfect, so understanding, so wonderful…. And we're so in tune. He's perfect…..and the sex. O.M.G there isn't a word for the way Ben makes me feel. The way he looks at me….. I feel like I'm his world. His whole world. The rest of it just melts away and there's just me and him and he's my happy ending. I just know it. Marriage, babies. Everything. He IS my end game.

But diary something happened. Something I never expected. Well _someone_ I never expected….Ben has been keeping a secret and he doesn't know that I know. Ben is a twin! His brother has been estranged from the family for years. I found out completely by accident from his grandmother Padme. Everyone knows she has a touch of dementia. Poor thing. Anyway, last time we visited her she kept going on and on about the one who was 'missing.' Someone was 'missing' She said. Ben just shrugged and told me to ignore it. When he left to fix our drinks, Padme looked me straight in the eyes and said I had to find Kylo. I said I didn't know who that was. She picked up the framed photo of Ben from the table next to her, took the back off and produced a folded up photo. She gave it to me and I was shocked to see Ben standing shoulder to shoulder with him arm around a carbon copy of himself! Except for the fact that the copy had a sour expression and a scar running down his cheek and disappearing under his shirt. 'Find him.' She said to me. Then Ben came in and I quickly hid the photo.

I had a chance to look at it again later. It was quite extraordinary how alike they look, except Ben has soft eyes and an open expression. Kylo was completely closed off, with a stern 'fuck off' expression. Kylo's hair was longer, and Ben favours dress pants and shirts whereas Kylo seemed to be more of a 'sniff test' kinda guy wearing torn jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt, but I have to admit it looked good on him.

I know it's wrong diary, I know it's so wrong…..but I couldn't help it. My thoughts wandered to what it would be like to have both men…..in me. _Oh god._ The thought turned me on more than it should have and I pushed it away out of loyalty to Ben. But still even now... _*shudder*_

Anyway, i began to look for Kylo. Partly because Padme has a special place in my heart and it seemed so important to her, and partly because I was curious to meet him. I didn't tell Ben. It was a difficult search, obviously I couldn't ask the family any questions but luckily he hadn't changed his first name and Kylo is quite a unique name. He had changed his surname from Solo to Ren though.

He hadn't even moved far! Just the next town over! It took me an hours bus ride to get there. I couldn't find a home address, but I had lucked out by finding an archived newspaper article about a small bakery called 'first orders' who had won an award for baking a giant loaf of bread that had incredibly morphed in the oven to look like a giant penis. It was a very lifelike replica, but not what the baker Kylo Ren has intended judging by his extremely pissed off face in the article photo.

The title of the piece had been 'dick shaped dough shocks town!'

I admit it was unfortunate that the order had originally been made by a nunnery who were expecting a visit from from a large convent of neighbouring sisters…. but I digress.

Anyway, so I find the bakery and of course he isn't up front so I ask the girl if I can see him and she was so rude! Looking me up and down and asking me all these questions about how I know Kylo and why I need to see him! As if it's any of her business! So that's what I said to 'Baz', (that's what it said on her name tag) 'Baz' I said. 'It's none of your business!' Anyway the argument got quite heated and I'm not proud of it but basically it resulted in me snapping a French loaf and implying I would do the same to Baz's neck if she didn't let me see him. I know. That's bad right?

 _Must control my temper_  
 _Must control my temper_

Anywho, all this commotion had the desired effect because right then Kylo popped his head through the doorway into the kitchen to see what was going on.

O.M.G. He was big. More muscular than Ben and more so than in the pictures I had seen of him. He was covered in sweat and wearing a white vest and low slung black joggers. I guess it was hot working in a bakery all day. I couldn't help it diary. I literally _drooled._

He looked at me with such intensity…. I basically almost came right there in the shop! _God._ I could practically smell the testosterone pouring out of him! Well, actually I could smell the tiger loafs baking in the back and they smelt yummy….but ….again I've got a little off track…..

Anyway I'm finally allowed entrance into the sacred kitchen now but Baz gives me dagger eyes the whole time I walk past her. :-(

I follow Kylo's MASSIVE body through to the kitchen and then…..I don't know what to say. I literally lose _all_ my words. The boy is so BIG….so I just stand there like an idiot and then I giggle and say,

'I'm dating you.'

I SAID I'M DATING YOU!

 _Hi I'm Rey. Table for one in the hole in the ground please!_

Anyway then I blush like a giant strawberry and say,

'Not you! Obviously! i mean I'm dating your brother.'

And I swear even though the room was full of heat from the powered up oven's I felt a chill in the air.

IT. WAS. FROSTY.

He looked at me with such hatred and then he told me to get out! I mean! How rude?

I put my hands on my hips and said not until you listen to me.

Then I told him all about Nanna Padme and how she said I had to find him and I told him all about how I tracked him down and I told him all about Ben and what he was doing now and I finished up by saying that I'm sure whatever bad blood existed between then is all water under the bridge by now.

Then Kylo came towards me and he towered over me and he said, 'Do you know know about me? Do you how I got this scar?'

And I swallowed hard and said no, and then he told me that Ben was the reason for his scar! And I didn't know what to say so I just listened to him tell the story.

Apparently when the boys had been young, Kylo had been a bit of a daredevil (I know shocking revelation right?) anyway, the boys were bored at school and Ben dared Kylo to jump through an open window and land on the grass outside, they were on the ground floor so this wasn't too big an ask. Apparently if he won, his prize was going to be all of Ben's power rangers and this was a _big_ deal. (Whatever) so the idiot jumps, and finds out that it was just a really clean window and he smashed straight through it, hence the scar.

There was a massive uproar and both the boys were hauled in to see the principle (after Kylo's injuries had been seen to of-course) anyways Ben denied the bet put all the blame on Kylo and his parents sided with Ben! Kylo got kicked out of school and left with an ugly scar to boot. He tells me he hates Ben and blames him for everything.

While he is telling me this story he becomes more and more agitated, he backs me up against the wall and looms over me, puts his hands flat against the wall over my head and glares down at me, and I know I should be scared but…..I'm not.

I know I shouldn't say the words. I hear them in my head and I _know_ that's where they should stay but I want to see what he will do, if I say it, because humans always want to push the 'Do not push' button don't they? So I say it,

'It wasn't Ben's fault.'

He slams his hands into the wall. He Growls. _Actually growls!_ Then throws a tray of bread off the bench onto the floor. He's shouting and swearing, then Baz appears and she is HYSTERICAL . She starts screaming at him to stop. That she can't watch him do this anymore. I don't react. I just watch his display with a critical eye. I know what he is. He's just a child having a tantrum. He needs someone to teach him to grow up, someone to show him how to be a man. I'm scared to admit to myself that I want it to be me.

I lean back against the wall and fold my arms, raise an eyebrow at him. He notices. He calms down and observes me with interest.

'Do you live near here?' I ask casually.

'Above the bakery.' He replied.

'Let's go.' I said.

And just like that, that's how I met Kylo Ren, and everything I thought I knew, changed forever.

Okay, so it's been a few days since my last entry….sorry I'm a busy girl these days! For reasons which will become apparent once I finish writing down this story….

So anyway, picking up where I left off we went up to Kylo's apartment above the bakery, it was a typical lad pad. A right mess, with clothes strewn everywhere and at least a million dishes in the sink. I took one look at it and rolled my eyes and my sleeves.

'What are you doing?' He asked eying my suspiciously.

'Cleaning! This place is a pigsty. How do you live like this?' I said gesturing wildly.

He scowled and threw himself down into a chair,

'Well excuse me. I've been a bit busy.'

'Yeah, wallowing in self pity is a full time occupation apparently.' I said with a lift of my eyebrow. Honestly the boy was such a brooding mess! It kinda worked for him but still, it was no way to live!

So I put the clothes in his hamper, washed all the dishes and put them away with no help from sulky pants at all!

Then I sat down at the table with him.

'Right. What do you want to eat?' I said.

'What?' He asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

'I'm hungry and this is probably going to take a while so I'm going to cook for us both.'

I figured he hadn't eaten a home cooked meal in the while so it might help butter him up and also I'm a good cook. Like really good. Ben loves me cooking. Figured maybe they might have similar taste buds?

Anyway, I found some steaks in the fridge and fried them up with some mushrooms and onions.

These were good steaks, much better than I could afford. My mouth was watering just thinking about biting into the delicious meat.

'I like mine rare.' Kylo called out.

'Well I like mine medium rare and as I'm cooking the steaks I will make the decisions.' I shot back.

I finished making the steaks and brought them over to the table with some beers I had found in the fridge. We ate in silence for a while. Kylo thought I didn't notice but I saw him close his eyes as he took a bite! I knew the steak tasted good, because mine was delicious.

We cleared our plates then I washed up and we sat and sipped our beers and stared at each other.

'Well?' I said eventually.

'Well what?' Kylo asked.

'Well? Are you really never going to see your family again just because of a stupid childhood prank?'

'It's more than that, Ben was the one who got good grades, went to university and got a good job. Ben is the one living the life I should have had, the one I _would_ have had if I didn't have this.' He gestured to the scar on his face.

I softened a bit then, 'Okay, but you could still have all those things. You could go to night school. You could have everything he has.'

'I can't have everything he has.' He said and he gave me a look which made my throat tighten.

'Ben has his….Ben. Has. His.' He said drawing out the words as his anger grew. 'Where's mine Rey? Where's mine?' He asked.

I didn't know what to say….. so we just looked at each other.

His eyes were predatory but I held my ground, knowing if I showed an ounce of fear, I was done for.

'I see what you are Kylo Ren...you're a wolf.' I said pointing a finger at him.

'I'm a wolf?' Kylo said narrowing his eyes.

'Yes, you're a wolf. A big part of you has no words and you use violence and anger to try and get your point across but that's no way for a grown man to act!'

He gave me the Manhattan once over. 'Why are you with Ben?' He demanded.

'Because I love him!' I exclaimed.

'He made me leap without looking and look what happened to me! He could do the same to you!'

'That was your own fault! Not Ben's!'

That was not the right thing to say. _Nope._

Suddenly he stood up and threw the table out of the way. I just sat in my chair and watched in stunned silence. Then he ran a hand through his hair, came towards me and snaked an arm around me pulling me out of my chair and holding me flush against his body.

Then he kissed me. He was hard and heavy like a freight train and I couldn't breath and I didn't care but I pushed him away because I knew I should, and I shouted,

'Wait a minute! Wait a minute!'

And I looked at him knowing it was wrong to be this attracted to my boyfriends brother but I was already too far gone so instead of walking out of there like I should have, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Moaning at the back of my throat as our lips met once more.

He picked me up in his arms as if I weighed nothing and shouted,

'SON OF A BITCH!'

Then he started to carry me across the room.

'Where are you taking me?' I shouted frantically.

'To the bed.' He said, his voice low and his eyes unwavering from mine.

OMG. I didn't know what to say but my body was on fire and I needed him. I needed him more than I've ever needed anything. It was primal, it was raw instinct, it was bigger than both of us, so I let him carry me to the bed and place me down on the sheets and I looked up into his eyes as he looked down into mine and then he said,

'I can't believe this is happening.'

And he kissed gently down me chin and neck and so I closed my eyes revelling in the feel of his stubble scratching at my skin.

Then his eyes returned to mine and he said,

'I was dead…..'

And I said, 'Me too.' Because I was. I felt it. I came alive the moment I saw Kylo Ren.

Then he said, 'what about Ben?'

And my heart squeezed with guilt but I couldn't walk away, I couldn't. So I said,

'You're mad at him so take it out on me. Use me up. Leave nothing. Leave nothing but the skin on my bones.'

And he did, diary. _He fucking did._

Sex with Ben is amazing diary. It really is. But (hey you can say whatever you want in your diary right?) It's kinda…..vanilla. It's a Mr whippy without a flake. Satisfying and delicious but just….missing something.

So apparently as I'm going with the ice cream analogy, if sex with Ben is like vanilla ice cream, sex with Kylo is like a double chocolate mega sized sundae with sprinkles and sparklers and a whole bunch of fucking cherries on top.

Ha ha, fucking cherries. That's funny right? Because fucking effectively cancels out your cherry doesn't it? Anyway, moving on…..

Kylo stripped me bare in seconds. I'm actually surprised he needed to use his hands. I think if he had just kept staring at me with those eyes of his, my clothes would have just _fell_ off my body. His gaze was THAT intense.

Then he stripped in front of me and god I nearly melted into a puddle at his feet. He was gorgeous and huge. EVERYWHERE. Apparently, Kylo and Ben did have some differences besides the scar…..

 _His hands._ God those hands. A woman could lose her mind. So warm and so skilled. He knew where I wanted him. Instinctively. He had me writhing around the bed in seconds. Panting his name.

'Yes.' He whispered against my lips. 'Say my name. Forget his.'

 _FUCK….._

He dipped his head and sucked each of my nipples into his mouth, soaking them as he ran his tongue in circles around the delicate skin. I sunk my hands into his hair. _Wow._ So soft. Ben's was usually gelled back, and usually felt crunchy. Kylo's hair was like waves of silk.

His tongue ran up to my neck and I leaned my head back to give him better access. I could smell his body spray. Dark spices. It tickled my throat. Made me wetter between my legs. God I was ready for him, but he wasn't done with me yet.

'I'm going to ruin you.' He said into my neck, 'You'll beg me to take you Rey. Have you ever begged Ben? I doubt it.'

He was right I hadn't, but I didn't admit it.

He slipped down my body pressing light kisses on my breasts, my stomach, the inside of my thighs. I caught my lip between my teeth. He looked up at me, hooked his hands around my thighs and stilled,

'Say it.' He said gently, 'Go on. Say it.'

'Please.' I whispered and his tongue touched my clit ever so lightly and I exploded. He had barely touched me and I was already so close. He spread a hand out onto my stomach to keep me steady as I bucked, such a warm welcome weight.

He circled my clit with his tongue keeping his eyes on mine. I couldn't speak. I just moaned and whimpered while he took whatever he wanted from me. He moved lower and thrust his tongue within me. In and out slowly at first then faster. I grasped at the sheets beneath me, trying to find anything an anchor me down as he pushed me higher and higher.

He came up beside me, slid his hand down my body, over my breasts and down over my stomach. When his fingers pressed against my clit and I arched up towards him.

'So wet.' He murmured. 'Wet for me, not him.'

 _God I'm so bad….._

Then he pushed two fingers inside of me and I moaned as he captured my lips once more. He thrust into me with his fingers, and I felt my orgasm build within me.

'That's it.' He coaxed as I clung to him helplessly, 'Give in to me. I want all of you.'

I shouted his name, as I fell apart. Dug my nails into his neck and squeezed my thighs around his hand. It was _so good_. So good, I saw stars form in front of my eyes. I felt a thousand different things in the space of those few blissful minutes but all I saw was Kylo.

'Good girl.' He said kissing me gently as I floated back down. He nuzzled my nose with his. 'My girl now.'

 _Fuck._ I couldn't deny it. He owned me after that. Now I wanted to own him.

I pushed myself up and gently pressed him down onto the bed. I ran my hands over his chest, down to his hard cock. I took him in my hands. He hissed in a sharp breath. I ran my hands up and down his huge shaft, rubbing my thumb over the tip. I licked my lips and leaned forward.

'Say it.' I said. Mirroring his earlier words.

'Please.' He said with a wicked smile on his face.

I took him in my mouth. Marvelling at the feel of him. He was so big. I ran my tongue around his tip. The skin was soft and warm and wet from his precum I felt myself become wet again in response. As if he could sense my arousal, he growled and suddenly shifted his body and pinned me to the bed.

He settled between my legs and held his cock near my entrance.

'Do you want it?' He asked. His voice raw.

I didn't answer. I wanted to see what he would do.

He ran the head of his cock up my pussy slowly. Teasing me. I was so wet. So ready. I moaned and called out his name.

'Do you want it?' He asked again. His eyes focused on mine.

'Yes. I want it.' My voice sounded strange, strained. Far away.

He thrust into me then and I called out. He leaned down over me, plunging his tongue into my mouth. Always needing more of me. I dug my fingers into his back, widened my legs, moaned against his mouth.

'God, you feel good.' He said as he grabbed my ass hard with his strong hands and thrust deeper within me. He buried his head in my hair as he came. Held me tightly against him as he filled me up. He murmured that he wouldn't let me go again. That I was his now.

When it was over he looked at me sleepily and kissed me languidly. He pulled out of me and lay down on his side, pulled me up against his body tucking me in close with one strong forearm. Not bothering to clean up the mess we'd made, the mess that was still leaking out between my legs.

'You'll stay with me tonight.' He said. It wasn't a question and I didn't object. My eyes started to close and I fell asleep there in his arms. Feeling warm and safe in the wrong man's arms. Kylo's arms.

When I woke the next morning I was disgusted with myself, swearing that I would never allow anything like that to happen again!

I got out of Kylo's bed and started collecting my clothes from the floor.

Kyle woke up and leaned his head up on one very muscular arm watching me ran around with amusement.

'What are you doing?' He asked.

'I don't know! What the hell am I doing here!' I asked holding my clothes in both hands still completely naked. 'I'm with Ben! You! You tricked me!' I shouted.

'I tricked you?' He said with a lift of his eyebrow. 'You came looking for me.' He said lying down with his hands behind his head. 'Maybe you should think about that.' He said with a half wink.

 _I mean, what a pompous fucking ass! He was right of course but still…_

'I don't need to think about it! I knew you were trouble! You have those bad eyes like a dirty criminal! You've ruined my life!'

'No. You've ruined mine.' He said but he didn't look mad, he looked….rather pleased.

'We are going to forget that this ever happened! I'm going home to Ben and you will just forget that I was ever here!' I shouted as I dressed.

'I can't do that.' Kylo drawled sitting up.

'Why not?' I demanded.

'Because I'm in love with you.' He said.

I dropped the shoe I was trying to put on, went up to him and slapped him clean across his cheek.

'Snap out of it!' I cried.

'I can't.' He said completely unfazed by the slap which had left my hand stinging like a motherfucker….. he stood up and came towards me.

I backed off, 'Oh no you don't! You stay over there! I can't think straight when you get those hands of yours on me!'

'Rey please….'

'I can't! I'm with your brother!'

'He doesn't need you like I need you.' He said with dark soulful eyes.

Well that was a low blow diary. _Low. Fucking. Blow._

A moment later I'm in his arms again and we're sucking the life force out of each other and I'm ready for him to take me again and I know that I'm a whore. I'm a goddamn whore. And I'll go to hell for this you mark my words. But I can't stop fucking around with Kylo fucking Ren.

Because I'm in love with him too. God help me, I'm in love with them both. So tell me what to do diary? Tell me. Please…..

Because I can't choose between them but I can't have them both. _Can I?_


End file.
